Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Can we say all over the map?

That seems to be the state of my existence as of late. I am doing nothing and everything. Is that even possible? I have this goal, which is to create a routine. Not the kind of routine you can set a clock to, but more so a kind of daily routine. Thus far I seem to be "failing".

It's not like time is an issue, becasue if one didn't know better you would think I was A) semi-retired or B) Unemployed. I work a normal 40 plus hour work week and yet I am home all the time and constantly playing. Hell my job pays me to play. Now I am not bitching at all but you would think I would be able to create and stick to some kind of schedule.

Of course I being perfect shall not take any blame for this and will pass all blame onto the newest member of the family. No not the cat chase, but our new dog Dexter. Soulmate and I adopted Dexter just over a week ago and he is a pure bred Doberman and can out last the energizer bunny. Actually he would probably eat said bunny and then keep going. He needs a ton of exercise, love because he is a huge pussy and things to destroy because that is what he does.

I have all but given up with "formal" training and have decided that "playing" is more my thing. That being said there is no way this dude is going to lay down like his sister while I sit on the trainer for two hours he will lose his shit and eat a table, no lie he is pat beaver.

Try meditating for that matter with a 70lbs kid who wants nothing more then to wrestle. You may be saying to yourself, why don't you train him. Well you see we are hippie parents and we have tried nothing and we are all out of ideas. (Simpsons for those of you just arrriving on the planet).

A cleare sign is that I have not blogged in like two weeks, oh my god, whatever, lol, ttyl.
Any whore, I am going to make more of an effort on the schedule front. I am so spontanious though, I live care free without a worry in the world, not clock watching..........oh fuck I am late

Peace and love

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

All in the Family

Another night of grooming has come and gone with little excitement. I so desperately want to see wild life and yet I rarely see any. I see lot's of evidence that the woods are a buzz in the sign of foot prints but no sightings. Thus far I have seen a coyote and last night a big owl. I was really, quite foolishly, hoping to see much more. I guess however that something resembling a tank may not be the most inviting for animals.

On the home front we welcomed our 3rd child, Chase into our lives yesterday. Chase is a black and white cat......if you where thinking a child you are clearly off your meds. Soulmate and I adopted Chase from the SPCA in Orillia. He is unfazed by his re-location and very happy. Tucker and Maggie on the other hand are stressed. Their all like "what the fuck is going on here"
The new cat loves the dog and spends a lot of time rubbing up against her and walking under her, which is really funny as Maggie looks very, very confused. Tucker needs more time to adjust because he is in all accounts a prick. That's not bad, it is what it is.

Out side of that all is well and calm. No major life changing events to report. Just the same old, same old. Sorry if I bore you, I may spice things up by starting a riot or revolution both of which are still in planning.......

Peace and Love

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Well wouldn`t you know it, it`s Tuesday. To some of you that is redundant, you know it is Tuesday and I am merely stating the obvious, congratulations then to you. But to others, like me days seem to blend together, creating more of a montage then a week. Do to my schedule, grooming some nights, working some days everything just melts together and I tend to lose track of what day it is.

So as I sit here, I realize that i have not delighted and tickled your minds for several days, this in part to my weird schedule. So I shall then attempt to update you in my life happenings up until this day.

The week end was beautiful, blue sky`s and cold. When I arrived at Hardwood on Saturday morning, I discovered the temperature to be in the minus to cold to fucking do anything. However it was demo day, so I watched as sales reps struggled, braving the cold to set up their tents, pull out their skis and smile, which was easy. If you could muster one your face would be frozen in that position shortly thereafter so you were pretty much set for the day.

I am still amazed at the number of people who come out and ski or more accurately drink hot chocolate on days like that. The parking lot was full and the chalet was alive with skiers, some coming in to warm up and others heading out. I glimpsed this all from the warmth of A)Chalet B)Cat house, I spent my day running between the two retaining as much heat as possible. Call me what you will, but I prefer to be warm, give me a heat lamp and a rock, maybe some crickets and I am the perfect lizard.

Sunday proved to be more inviting, for about 5 minutes so we, that is to say soulmate and I plus the dog went on a 3 hour snowshoe, which very literally drained my batteries. I returned, tired, smiling and ready to sit down for double the time spent snowshoeing, it is proper recovery, look it up if you don`t believe me...........ass

Monday was a day onto itself. Soulmate had several meetings in Toronto and I having nothing to do opted to drive her. So before the sun got it`s ass out of bed, we were on the road. By some miracle the drive in was amazingly fluid, very little stopping and hardly any rubbernecking. I spent my day drinking coffee at an assortment of Starbucks`s all of which where no more then 10 mins walk. I sipped away my day and read a lot. I also remained constantly amused by those in the rat race. Dashing out into traffic, nearly meeting their end all to get somewhere. Where, who cares but more then likely no where worth dying for. Odds are if they meet their demise whilst trying to get to work, the HR department would just pull out a hat and shake up a pile of resume`s, dropping them in and grabbing one at random.

Blah, Blah, Blah that is what you are hearing I know, I have rambled on about nothing so, I will wrap it up for today as I feel like it and it is my blog so, bye.

Peace and Love

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

" All aboard the apocolypse machine"

As you can imagine, staying up uber late to groom XC ski trails can begin to toy with your mind. Deprived of sleep, drowned in coffee and listening to broadcasts of the parinormal on Coast to Coast it was inevitable that at some point Andrew (fellow grommer) and myself would begin a hot topic debat about surviving a zombie apocolypse.

One might think that such a conversation is rediculous and some what geeky, but let me ensure you that being prepared is the best policy weather it is to survive a natural disaster or a zombie apocolypse. Many ideas floated about the inside of the groomer as we pushed forward on our daily mission to create and maintain the best ski trails around.

We both agreed on a few key points about surviving said zombies. 1) Gather supplies, weapons, food, clothing, fuel etc. 2) Make your way to a place with a small population, i.e. some far Northeren commuity. The reason is smaller population equals smaller zombie population.

It was at this point that we began to disagree. You see Andrew believes that the groomer, which is an amazing machine with tracks (go over anything) a big plow blade (push zombies out of way) and a tiller (chew zombies up) would make the best machine to be in to survive an apocolyps. I however disagree. I believe that by being in said machine your fate is to become a canned food of sorts for zombies to feed on.

My game plan is as follows: Pay attention to the news, when strange occurences begin, people eating other people get a flight to Nepal. Gather supplies and begin a trek to the highest base camp on Mount Everst. Outside of a few zombie sherpas you should be ok. You will however have to venture into a village to gather more supplies, but lets face it my friends, that is the weak link in every survival plan, when dealing with zombies, hungry for brains.

It was at this point that we stubulled up an alien. Luckily not a zombie because we have no agreed upon course of action and we figured that aliens are far safer. So we picked him up and he groomed with us for the rest of the evening. He was a quite delightful fellow who had a slight obsession with the 80's pop culture. We asked his opinion, his response was as follows

" if either of you ever want to get laid again I would suggest that you stop talking about zombies. Whats next guys a little Dungeons and Dragons, how about some japenese comic books. Why the fuck are you two talking about zombies anyway, fuck you guys are nerds, jesus christ! You know what just let me the fuck out. There is no way I am going to ride along with a couple of fucking weirdos who are A) up at 2am and B) talking crazy shit. Why don't you go home, get laid, dring a beer and shut the fuck up"

He was an angry little man, but he had a point. So we let him out, we watched as he walked off into the bush all the while flipping us the bird.

The moral here is, nothing, there is no point to this story. No lesson not a god damn thing. I am tired, oh so tired and need to sleep and apparently get laid according to the alien Mr. T.

I guess the lesson then is to get laid, often and frequently, then maybe you won't find yourself talking about zombies.

Peace and love

Sunday, January 3, 2010


Well here we go again. A new year and decade has begun, the world is still in existence, no aliens attacked and a lot of prophecies where wrong, again, but don't give up you'll get it right one day.

New Years eve was spent with some friends and of course my soulmate in what amounted to a very low key evening. A snowshoe in and around Matt's home a few beers and a lot of laughing. All and all it was a great way to ring in the new year.

In true fashion we got home and I was hungry, so it would turn out that my first meal of the new year was an entire bag of salt and vinegar chips. I know what some of you are thinking, gross. Well screw you, I was hungry and it was easy so go fuck a goat.

Thus far the new year has begun in much the same way as the last one ended, in love, have a dog, and I still drink to much coffee. I think it is great. Perfect in fact.

If your curious, I have NO resolutions as that I am pretty much perfect. That and I think a resolution is pretty gay. The idea of choosing one thing or a handful of things to change this year is ridiculous. Let's face it, what you don't like about yourself today, won't be the same tomorrow. So here is my advice. Do your best everyday. Treat everything the same, give it your full attention. It isn't about accomplishing the most everyday, it's about creating the most out of what you accomplish. So if you only accomplish a few things, but you have done them all with your best effort, attention and integrity your fucking awesome in my books. Live your life, be happy and do what makes you happy. Odds are if your happy those around you will be happy. Unless their miserable people, in that case fuck'em or buy them a bullet.

I would wish you a happy new year, the best blah blah blah blah and junk but I won't. What I will do is wish you the happiest and best in life, all of your life, not just one stinking year. Why take it one year at a time? Well if you piss me off I may wish you a year filled with horribleness and misery. Well I guess the key is to not piss me off.

Peace and love