Monday, March 22, 2010

When are the 80's coming back?

Seriously though, when are they coming back?

I am a child of the 80's in as much as I was born in 1980. As I recall it was the most brilliant point in human history. My recollection of course is limited to the late 80's the time between picking my nose and the introduction of MC Hammer. As I recall it was totally awesome and I feel like I would have done so well during that decade.

When this topic arises, the majority seem to want to dismiss this decade, brushing it under the rug of time. I have come to the conclusion that this is done because it was so awesome of a period that re-living it is painful because no other period will be as awesome so we have blocked it from our memory leap frogging in time from 1979 to 1990.

I would like to present a couple of examples as to why the 80's was and will forever be the pinnacle of human civilization, if you agree with me "right on" if you don't then you are delusional and clearly off your meds.


Here are a few highlights which prove my point with no room for rebuttal:

1980- I am born, your welcome. The rest of the world is cruising around on roller blades while wearing IZOD alligator shirts, collars flipped up of course. Rocking out to Air supply on their Walkmans and solving the Rubik cube. Mount St. Helen's erupts, which is bad, but volcano's are way cool.

1981- Our minds are stimulated with the wonders of Arcade excellence as we are introduced to Pac-man. MTV debuts, airing it's first video by the Buggles, "video killed the radio star", leg warmers are so the thing and IBM gives us the personal computer.

1982 -The world flocked to the newly opened Epcot center and Smurfs made our world a bit brighter. E.T. came into to our lives and Reeses Pieces were all the rage. Heads bobbed whilst listing to new bands like Duran Duran, Bryan Adams, Hewy Lewis and The News and of course "Thriller" one of the best albums of all time is released.

1983- Crack hits the streets and we said good bye to M.A.S.H and hello to the Cabbage patch dolls. Jane Fonda helped firm asses everywhere and the soundtrack to the year was given to us by REM, Madonna and Culture club. That and apple gave us the mouse, nice.

1984- The pivotal question "wheres the beef?" was asked, stone washed jeans and Miami Vice, need I say more, thank you 1984

1985 - The price of a movie, $3.55. We wrapped our arms around Teddy Ruxpin and wanted to give the world a hug while we listened to "We are the world".

1986-We all mourned together as Challenger exploded and laughed together with ALF and the Tanner family. The Bangles gave us the audio master piece "walk like an Egyptian" and we all agreed with Madonna when she sang "Papa don't preach". Thanks sister.

1987-"I just died in your arms tonight" said it all and we captured the year on disposable cameras. We said goodbye to Andy Worhol and Kristy Alley joined the cast of Cheers.

1988-Can be summed up by the song of the year "Don't worry be happy", but it was hard because Casey Kasem signed off the air, top 40 radio changed forever. Sony Bono was Mayor of Palm Springs. Roseanne got her own show and the first prescriptions for anit-depressants where written, Prozac to be specific. Any corhelation?

1989-The Berlin wall came down and east met west for the first time in 28 years. The Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles filled Saturday mornings and Milli Vinilli picked up a Grammy.


Now I am sure my brilliantly guided, beautifully crafted and grammatically perfect highlight reel of the 80's proves with out a doubt that it was the best decade of all time. If you ever make it back look for me, I'll be the guy rocking a "flocks of seagull" hair cut, acid washed jeans with worn out knees and IZOD alligator shirt collared flipped up and converse high tops. On my head a pair of ear phones plugged into a bright yellow walkman bellowing out the words "Relax don't do it" . One foot will be on a single tipped skateboard and a Rubik cube in my pocket. That's right, the coolest looking mother fucker you would be graced to lay your eyes on. If you make it back maybe we can have "breakfast at Tiffany's" ?


Peace and Love

and 80's forever!

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